How to Write a Letter to Family, Friends or Framily

There’s something about receiving a handwritten letter in the mail. In a world buzzing with instant messages and heart-reacts, a letter slows everything down. It says: “I sat with you in my heart for a little while.”

Whether you're writing to a cousin across the country or a friend you haven't seen in years, here’s how you can  write a letter that truly connects.

Set yourself up for success by writing in a well-lit area, burn a candle or incense, put on some music, grab your pen and paper (or your laptop or phone in case you're typing this up and printing it). 

Don’t overthink your opening. 

This isn’t an essay — it’s a moment between two people. Begin like you’re sitting across from them.

Try:

• “Hey cousin,  I’ve been thinking about you lately…”

• “Dear friend (or the name you normally call them), it’s been way too long, but I haven’t forgotten the last time we laughed together…”
  
  

Be yourself. That’s what makes it beautiful.

Before you ask about them, invite them into your world. 

Not just the big updates, but the little things, too.

For example:

• What’s blooming outside your window?

• What have you been cooking, watching, or reading?

• Did you have a weird dream or a funny moment at the grocery store?

These small details will make your letter feel alive and like they're spending some time with the real you.

Letters can open up deeper conversations than texts ever will. Think of all the things our ancestors put in print. 

Go beyond “How are you?” and ask something real:

• “What’s been giving you joy lately?”

• “Have you been dreaming of anything new?”

• “What’s something you’ve overcome this year that you’re proud of?”

Open-ended questions invite reflection and replies.

Share the world you both knew together

One of the most touching parts of a letter is when someone recalls a memory you forgot or tells you how you’ve mattered to them.

Try:

• “I was just remembering that summer we stayed up talking until 3AM...”

• “You probably don’t realize it, but the way you handled that situation taught me so much…”

Letters give you a chance to honor the people you love in words they can keep.

End your letter with warmth.

Ideas:

• “You are always on my mind, even when I don’t say it.”

• “I hope this letter felt like a cup of tea on a rainy day.”

• “Write back when the mood strikes, no pressure, I'll be here when .”
  
  

And then sign off in a way that fits your vibe:

• With love,

• Yours always,

• From my heart to yours,
  Holding space for you,

Bonus Tips

• Use nice paper or a favorite pen, it can help make writing feel like a ritual.

• Add something small like a pressed flower, a doodle, a quote, or a photo.

• Don’t worry about grammar or spelling, care more about connection than correctness.

Why Letters Still Matter

They’re a gift of your attention, sealed in an envelope.

So pick up your pen. Write that letter. Even a short note can become someone’s favorite piece of mail this year or a memory they keep tucked away forever.